GRACE: Karen, remember last week when you had that UPS guy fired ‘cause you thought brown was over? Did you feel anything afterwards?
KAREN: Yeah, for a few minutes, but, like every high, it eventually wore off.
Things Karen Walker has implied:
- She was involved in the Patty Hearst kidnapping.
- She’s done jello shots with John Oates of Hall & Oates
- She’s almost 200 years old.
- She once hired Picasso to paint a portrait of her, but fired him because he painted her breasts on the same side of her body.
- She was alive during the Great Depression.
- She made some sort of pact with the Devil in order to live forever.
- She had an affair with Martina Navratilova in the 1980s, who claimed to be straight before she met Karen.
- She was Ronald Reagan’s mistress.
- She’s Asian.
- She was on Dynasty.
- She believes that if you hit a gay man in the head with an object, he’ll say “Eh, all in a day.”
- That the words “Hola, señor” in Spanish translate to “Do you know Elton John?” and “You look like a big, mincing queen”.
- When she was a boy, she used to work at a supermarket.
- She claims to receive money every now and then from Linda Hussein (Saddam’s wife) after Karen won a bet over who had the worst husband.
- She’s in a gang and is a fan of Gangsta rap and Aerosmith.
- She smoked pot with Debbie Harry.
- She and Candice Bergen set up Martha Stewart to go to prison.
- She believes the homeless are actually a cult, like the Moonies.
- She believes that “one of the most exotic essences on the planet” is milk.
- She had intimate relationships with Steven Tyler, Jon Voight and Goldie Hawn. All of them ended up favoring their daughters (Liv Tyler, Angelina Jolie and Kate Hudson, respectively) over Karen, which she implies is the reason why those relationships ended.